


Attention Whore

by Clarisse (transnymphtaire)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M, Omegle, Pedophilia, Webcam/Video Chat Sex, based on real life experience
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-14
Updated: 2017-04-14
Packaged: 2018-10-18 23:04:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10627008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/transnymphtaire/pseuds/Clarisse
Summary: Wanting attention can be dangerous.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is extremely much based on my own lovely time being 12-14. Except changed to fit Harry's circumstances, and mashed into one person instead of many.
> 
> I couldn't write this sober, so I make no promises for quality. It was supposed to be a lot darker, but I couldn't change my own experience too much.

The only source of light in the bedroom came from the computer screen. It was harsh and unforgiving, but as he wasn’t supposed to be awake, Harry didn’t dare turn on a lamp. He was tempted to, but the attention that aunt Petunia would give him for wasting their electricity when he was supposed to be asleep was far from the attention that he craved.

The attention that he craved was the reason the words _omegle.com_ were written into the search bar. He had heard someone mentioning the page at school, heard it described as a fun place to talk to new people. Since he didn’t have any friends at school, and his relatives only looked at him when something bad happened…

Harry pressed the option for a text conversation, and waited as the page connected to the server.

**You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!**

**Stranger:** A/S/L?

_Age. Sex. Location._ Harry wouldn’t have known what it meant if not for the kids he overheard at school.

**You:** 13/M/England  
**Stranger:** :)  
**Stranger:** 25/M/England  
**Stranger:** How are you? :)

It felt cool, that someone older gave him attention when no one else did. Harry happily answered, omitting details when it got too personal because he had heard aunt Petunia warn Dudley about internet safety enough times to know that it would’ve been bad.

They talked for hours, and Harry had never felt so appreciated before.

**Stranger:** What’s your MSN?

Harry gave it without a second thought.

* * *

Barty. The stranger’s name was Barty, and he wanted to video chat. Not even that, he just wanted to see Harry. It should’ve set off warning bells, but Harry was just happy that someone wanted to see him for once. He had one of Dudley’s old webcams plugged into the computer, and nervously moved it around until it was in a good spot.

Then he started the video.

**Barty:** You look cute :)

Harry couldn’t describe the feeling he got at the compliment, but he knew that he wanted more.

**Barty:** Take off your shirt?

He wanted more, even if it meant doing things he probably shouldn’t do.

* * *

When they talked, Barty wanted him to undress and turn the video on. Sometimes he got asked to move the webcam so that it was towards his stomach and privates, not his face. Harry did as asked, feeling a guilty rush of excitement at the attention each time.

He tried to ignore that he felt slightly more disgusted by himself afterwards.

* * *

**Barty:** Show me how you touch yourself?  
**Harry:** Touch myself?

His first time masturbating was under Barty’s careful guidance, with the webcam placed to give the best view. Harry took a hot shower afterwards, and tried masturbating on his own as he lied in bed to sleep.

* * *

He knew that he should stop, but each time he logged into MSN, he continued to talk to Barty. Some days he wouldn’t log in, but it was hard to stop. He thrived on the attention. He ignored the things Barty said that made him uncomfortable, pretended that he didn’t see them, but did the other things that Barty had taught him to.

It was an addiction. Harry spent more time in front of the computer during the nights, ate less during the day, and threw up when no one could see. He felt disgusted by his body, except for when Barty was seeing it.

* * *

**Barty:** What’s your number?  
**Barty:** If you don’t give it to me, I’ll send your family pictures of you

Harry didn’t think to ask of proof before he wrote the number to the phone Dudley broke the screen on that he had gotten. When it called moments later, he quickly answered and locked himself into the bathroom. It was early enough in the evening that he could pretend to take a bath.

* * *

Hearing Barty’s voice for the first time, realising the age difference, being threatened into masturbating or having pictures that may not exist sent to his family…. Harry left the phone on the toilet seat and put his head underneath the water. He wanted to die.

* * *

He deleted his MSN and threw away Dudley’s webcam. He couldn’t change his number, but no one else ever called him so he could keep it turned off.

* * *

It itched in his fingers every time he sat down in front of the computer. Harry missed the attention, but not what it had made him do. He missed seeing himself in the mirror without being disgusted, he missed being able to sleep without masturbating, he missed being able to eat without throwing up, he missed being a normal child instead of the empty shell of one.

* * *

He stole a pair of scissors from the kitchen and locked himself into his room. His relatives wouldn’t notice if he died… they hadn’t noticed anything that had happened as he talked with Barty. They were too busy with their own lives.

Harry pressed the scissors against his arm and waited for the blood to break through the skin. It didn’t. He could scratch at his arm with the scissors until his skin was raw, but he couldn’t cut himself.

He was too useless to even harm himself.

* * *

 He made a new MSN. He went omegle again. It didn’t have to be Barty. He just wanted attention from someone.

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact! Omegle is triggering to be on, and 9-10 years later I still think that being naked on the internet is the best way to get attention. I'm just smart enough to not do it now. But I did relapse a few times. 12-14 were not good years for me.
> 
> You think that you're able to forget something, and then realise that you've literally became a new person since then. (I dyed my hair for the first time after I got rid of the MSN and my webcam, then went on to change my name a few years later, though I didn't use my real name so that's unrelated)


End file.
